14 August 2016

Bloggers – Online vs Real Life

By Vix
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I originally wrote this post a few weeks back where I was beginning to get increasingly irked at bloggers who were different when I met them in person but it stayed in my drafts because I began having a lot more positive interactions with other bloggers and I didn’t want to have a big old moan about it. Then this weekend happened.

As a blogger, I have been lucky (and unlucky) enough to meet hundreds of fellow bloggers in real life. Whether it be at events or meet ups, I get to put a face to a domain name.

But, unfortunately, not all bloggers are the same online as they are in real life. This isn’t a post to drag anyone BUT if the shoe fits…

As a new blogger, I quickly decided who I loved from social media, who I wanted to be friends with and who I wanted to be like. I found myself starting discussions with them over Twitter or commenting on their Instagrams. I couldn’t wait to meet these girls in real life as their online personas just screamed, ‘YOU’RE LIKE ME!’

Then, as I began to get invited to stuff, I began to meet some of them. And that’s where the fantasy started to unfold.

In the run up to events, I’d be tweeting the girls I was excited to meet to discuss what we’d be wearing and how thrilled we were to finally meet each other. But on the day of the event, it seemed like those Twitter conversations never happened. I’d approach the blogger in real life to be greeted by a blank face or sometimes, complete ignorance. Even after declaring, ‘It’s ME, VIX’, incase they didn’t recognise me from my pictures, they would still look at me like I was the town freak.

Or I would meet them, we would declare undying love for each other, I would compliment overload their social media, photography or blogs to find they’ve unfollowed me the next day.

Or I would approach them to say hi, get ignored, subtweet my aggravation at such awful behaviour and be tweeted by them to say, ‘Oh my god, so sad we didn’t get a chance to chat.’ Nah, don’t try it babe. You stood next to me in silence for 10 minutes. You had plenty of chance to chat.

Which brings me to Summer in the City. For those who don’t have a clue – Summer in the City is the ‘UK’s largest YouTube convention’.

I was lucky enough to be invited by my bez Grace to be her plus one. Over the Friday and Saturday I got to go back stage, to the Green Rooms, wander between panels and mooch around the main room. I was SO excited to meet a range of bloggers and YouTubers who I have been crushing on for quite some time. I also met quite a few people in the industry who had a few tales to tell about their experiences of bloggers in real life.

Turns out, most of them are complete dicks.

There was the blogger/YouTuber who I have followed, supported, tweeted and read for YEARS, who point blank ignored me when I said ‘Hi’ as her friend was introducing me. Bitch, half of your RewardStyle bunce is from me idolising your style and you can’t even fake a smile?

There was the huge YouTube/blog, glossy star who walked into a room, looked at people smiling and saying hello to her who walked straight back out again. Bitch I was good enough for you 2 years ago when you wanted me to invite you to an event but now you want to pretend like I’m invisible? Perhaps you can’t remember what my face looks like after you unfollowed me on all platforms because I couldn’t get you the plus one.

Then there was the viral YouTube sensation who blanked everyone’s welcomes, compliments, support and love whilst standing next to us for a good ol length of time. Bitch we used to chat weekly on Twitter when we had the same amount of followers but you blowing up means you don’t talk to anyone now?

(From others who have experienced similarly awful behaviour:) 

There are YouTubers who tell their managers to tell everyone in the room not to look at them.

Those who refuse to appear at anything fans might be at, unless they are paid.

Ones who accept gifted opportunities and trips without a Hello or a Thank You.

Ones who are so disgusting that they will throw rubbish on the floor and tell other people to pick it up.

Those who present themselves to be shy, retiring and socially awkward but used to live a life that was very different.

Girls who make videos about bullying, trolling and getting hate who want to go out of their way to be vile to people who have supported them.

Even worse, ones who get PAID to do charity work.

ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME?

Does 100k+ followers/subscribers suddenly mean that your head is planted firmly up your arsehole?

One thing I’ve learned about some bloggers/YouTubers is that they love to social climb. Anyone with less followers or who can’t get them a PR sample is ignored whilst those who have more sway than them will get their clits sucked.

Here’s why I’m angry. These people are making an incredible amount of money on a persona that is completely false. They are duping their fans who have never had the misfortune to meet them in real life, into believing they are relatable and approachable when in reality they are neither.

I have met many a PR and industry person over these last 2 years. The same names keep getting dragged up. No one who has met them likes them but they HAVE to work with them because of their numbers.

Numbers, numbers, numbers.

What becomes apparent very quickly when you meet these people is that you can have the most amount of followers and subscribers but it doesn’t make you a good person.

Luckily, most of the bloggers/YouTubers I have met, that have been rude or entitled, are not people I watch or support BUT imagine they behave the same way to actual fans? People that buy their merchandise or style themselves on those girls.

The thing with online personas is, you can be ANYONE. You don’t even need to be yourself. You can make your Twitter seem like you’re the most confident, friendly, out-going and kind person, when in reality, you could be shy OR just plain rude. Or you can use your Insta to show all of your latest ASOS purchases when in reality you’re living on Supernoodles and dust for dinner. But you’re definitely not going to #ad it because you think your fans are stupid.

And I get it. Maybe, you’re naturally a withdrawn, anxious person, you don’t choose to be this way. You beat yourself up over it and wish you could be more confident and outgoing. So when you’re sat behind a screen it’s a lot easier to be that confident, bubbly person. But what happens when you do meet other bloggers in real life and it becomes quickly apparent, you’re not like who you portray yourself to be?

If you are socially anxious or awkward, being bombarded by strangers vying for attention is going to be overwhelming and it might freak you out. That’s not my problem though. My problem is with the two-faced-ness of it. STOP PRETENDING TO BE SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT.

That’s why I love bloggers who are exactly who they say they are. If you tweet and blog about your anxiety and worries, then when I meet you, I’m going to be aware of that and approach you accordingly.

I love bloggers who are loud, brash and out there online who are then totally in my face when I meet them, because I know how to handle them.

What I can’t stand, are the girls who pretend to be your BFF on social media who then act like you’re no one when you meet them. The bloggers who tweet you about an upcoming event because they, ‘can’t wait to see you babes,’ who then pretend they haven’t seen you when you approach them with a smile and a HEY.

I can’t stand girls that create a brand of being so friendly, relatable and lovely who then spend an entire event eye rolling at anyone who dares speak to them.

I’ve been told by the bloggers that I’ve met in real life that I’m the same online as off and I’m glad they can see that. I’m glad they can tell I’ll talk about vaginas on my blog AND within 5 minutes of meeting them, because that’s me.

If you’re going to build an image of yourself online as an approachable, welcoming and confident blogger who is comfortable within herself. You’d better make damn sure you represent yourself that way in real life too.

Furthermore, if you’re going to make a heck of a lot of money off of young, impressionable girls OR be supported by other bloggers on your way up, at least have the common courtesy to attempt to be half decent when they meet you in real life.

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